Karma Twins among Comics and/or Podcasters

Lenny Bruce Fillmore

 

Used to be lawyers
J-L Cauvin, Al Lubel, Greg Giraldo

Overcame extreme fear of flying
Jen Kirkman, Bert Kreischer

Hate Steely Dan
James Adomian, Marc Maron

Both parents deaf
Moshe Kasher, Craig Gass

Love to take their shirts off
Bert Kreischer, Ari Shaffir

Allergic to peanuts
Demetri Martin, Steve Agee

Natasha Leggero’s significant other
Ari Shaffir, Duncan Trussell, Moshe Kasher

Acted in “Breaking Bad”
Tait Fletcher, Bill Burr

Mother ran a bookmaking operation
Joey Diaz, Tony Hinchcliffe

Loved Kiss when young
Cassius Morris, Joe Rogan

Worry that neighbors will think they are seriously yelling at their wives
Bill Burr, Doug Stanhope

Love baseball
Steven Brody Stevens, Greg Proops, Jon Hamm

Heroic substance abuse recovery
Craig Ferguson, Marc Maron, Russell Brand, Moshe Kasher

Play piano brilliantly while making up songs
Owen Benjamin, Bo Burnham

Outrageous laughs
Josh Wolf, Esther Ku, Bert Kreischer

Totally content to be child-free
Aisha Tyler, Jen Kirkman, Janeane Garafalo

Instinctively trusted by me because of their voices
Daniel Quantz, Kurt Metzger, Greg Chaille, Sam Tripoli

As adults, met their long-gone absentee fathers
Gabriel Iglesias, Eddie Bravo

Cook at least one thing very well
Tom Papa, Joe Rogan, Bill Burr, Marc Maron

Candy addicts
Ari Shaffir, Dean Del Rey

White comics who did a lotta lotta black shows
Bill Burr, Kurt Metzger, Big Jay Oakerson

Long estrangement from very difficult mothers
Kira Soltanovich, Christina Pazsitzky

Listen to podcasts while falling asleep
Jeff Fox, Bert Kreischer

Amazing work based on their mothers’ deaths
Duncan Trussell, Doug Stanhope, Eddie Bravo (in his case, grandmother)

Love professional wrestling
Tony Hinchcliffe, Ron Funches, Mat Edgar, Earl Skakel, Mike Lawrence

Friends you might not expect of them
Steve Martin/Dalton Trumbo, Patton Oswalt/Harlan Ellison

Were foster kids
Kareem Green, Tiffany Haddish, Jamar Neighbors

Hate shopping
Aisha Tyler, Christina Pazsitzky

Have mined material from frustrating and emasculating doctor visits
Louis C.K., Tom Segura

Preoccupied with home repair issues
Bill Burr, Marc Maron, Kevin Christy

Intensely religious when young
Ari Shaffir, Pete Holmes, Kurt Metzger

Keep chickens in yard
Joe Rogan, Bert Kreischer

Read/discussed David Foster Wallace
Alison Rosen, Duncan Trussell, Bryan Callen

Have performed at club owner Jamie Masada’s Thanksgiving dinner
Ian Edwards, Bill Burr

Spiritual seekers
Duncan Trussell, Pete Holmes, Gary Shandling

Born and raised in show biz families but never drank
Chris D’Elia, Earl Skakel

Play drums
Bill Burr, Steven Brody Stevens, Alison Rosen

Feature their mother and/or father on podcasts
Tom Segura, Jen Kirkman, Tony Hinchcliffe, Bryan Callen

Against routine neonatal circumcision for boys
Joe Rogan, Stephanie Simbari, Jack Henry Faust

Rides motorcycle
Dean Delray, Bill Burr, Bert Kreischer

Snake hips
Chris D’Elia, Russell Brand

Hockey players
Earl Skakel, Bill Burr, Paul Gilmartin

Loves Dylan
Tim Heidecker, Marc Maron

Have featured their brothers on podcasts
Josh Wolf, Owen Benjamin

Have the same Lenny Bruce Fillmore Auditorium poster I used to have
Louis C.K., Joe Rogan

Studied psychology in college
Joe Rogan, Duncan Trussell, Sam Tripoli

Cerebral palsy
Josh Blue, Jack Carroll

Train in mixed martial arts
Kevin James, Joe Rogan, Raf Esparza, Kevin Phillips, Brendan Schaub, Joey Diaz

Recommend The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Steve Simone, Owen Benjamin

Love amusement park thrill rides
Doug Benson, Bert Kreischer

Used to be in a band
Alison Rosen, Carrie Brownstein

Multiple cats including strays
Marc Maron, Joey Diaz

Turned into activists by childhood sexual assault
Andy Andrist, Barry Crimmins

Big fan of shrooms
Pete Holmes, Ari Shaffir

Morbidly obese
Gabriel Iglesias, Ms. Pat, John Pinette, Ralphie May, Joey Diaz, Patrice O’Neal, John Candy, Chris Farley

Beatles fans
Don Barris, Joe Rogan

Lived in a car
Don Barris, Joey Diaz, Tiffany Haddish, Dustin Martian, Doug Stanhope, Tony Hinchcliffe

Can recount their dreams non-boringly
Daniele Bolelli, Bert Kreischer

God is a lesbian
Greg Proops, Sam Tripoli

Love the music of Edith Piaf
Bryan Callen, Christina Pazsitzky

Hunt with bow and arrows
Joe Rogan, Jeff Foxworthy

Often bring their wives on podcasts
Bert Kreischer, Bill Burr

Babysat Josh Wolf’s kids
Joey Diaz, Chelsea Handler

Used to be overweight/obese
Owen Benjamin, Jen Kirkman

Politically savvy
Greg Proops, Jen Kirkman, Dan Savage, Joe Rogan

Same voice
John Heffron, Marc Maron

Had prisoner penpals
Doug Stanhope, Jen Kirkman

Single dads who raised kids
Daniele Bolelli, Ian McCall, Josh Wolf

Characterized by Dave Atell as “fearless”
Doug Stanhope, Jim Norton, Artie Lange

Went to Groundlings school
Tom Segura, Sam Tripoli

Loves the Black Keys
Joey Diaz, Joe Rogan

Father was a doctor
Marc Maron, Alison Rosen, Mike Birbiglia

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Memes I made

I'm trying to be a poster child for just making weed work in your life, and not being caught with it, looking like an asshole. Doug Benson

I'm allergic to crystals (picture of jewel-encrusted crown) Joe Rogan

There's almost no reason to ever eat cheese. It gives you nothing. It's all only bad. Ari Shaffir

I'm tellin' ya, the secret of life is quadriceps mushrooms and the epileptical machine.

Disclaimer: While Joey Diaz has said  these words, there is no guarantee that he said them in this exact order.

Human beings are basically just God's finger being slammed in the door of time. Duncan TrussellIf you say, "Hey, someone's talking shit about you," I don't give a fuck. I assume everyone is. Doug Stanhope

People want you to get honest, until you start getting honest. Sam TripoliThinks porn is synonymous with sex. Picture of raucous kid with blue hoodie and star-shaped sunglasses.

Who needs beer AND an ashtray? Steven Brody Stevens

The party is based on ignoring that our costumes are slowly dissolving in front of us. Duncan Trussell

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An Open Letter to Dustin Martian

For the benefit of the search engines, I’ll say Hi Dustin Marshall, and I heard you on the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast (6/29/15), talking about your road rage incident, and here’s what it stirred up:

My first year in California – the Pomona year – I was broke as hell. I’d already sold my mother’s engagement ring, and a diamond watch that some fool gave me (and it served him right for being so clueless about my personal wish list). But I had a car and needed a bookcase, and bought one at a used stuff store. The guy who worked there brought it outside and put it in the trunk and tied the lid with my rope.

At the apartment I unloaded the bookcase, disturbed by the discovery that the guy had run the rope through the trunk latch. Sure enough, it was fucked up. I burned precious gas driving back to the store, explained the problem, and asked the man what he would do for me. He generously gave me a bunch of attitude. I didn’t give up, and he said he was in the middle of something, but if I would wait in the car he would come out and have a look at the latch. If he couldn’t fix it, neither he nor the business would pay for a professional to do it.

Parked near the trash cans, waiting, I got madder and madder, and decided to channel the energy into getting rid of the crap on the floor of the car, front and back, and even dragged the junk out from under the seats. I had the glove box in order, too, by the time the guy showed up. Regarding the trunk latch, I honestly don’t remember the outcome.

Here’s the part I do remember. A couple of days later, I was looking for the shark tooth necklaces. There were about 20, and I’d made them, and they were the only tangible and potentially valuable thing to survive a hideously twisted (for lack of a better word) relationship.

I meant to take them around to some places, to see if they could be transformed into actual money. I’d put them in a lunch sack, not very elegant, but the options were limited. And besides, a crumpled brown paper bag might elude the attention of a potential purse-grabber or car burglar.

Perhaps you can see where this is going. That’s right, the jewelry had been in the car, and at some point, because it wasn’t convenient to carry on some other errand, I had stowed it under the front seat and forgotten to retrieve it. Then, on the bookcase/trunk mission, when blind rage took over, I didn’t even realize that the bag of shark tooth necklaces was part of the junk that I so zealously scooped up and threw away.

The loss was stunning and bitter, and I decided not to do that again. It was almost 40 years ago, and I’m pretty sure I’ve only been crazy mad 3 times since then, and certain that I regretted it every time. If I make it to the end without letting that particular beast slip its leash again, I’ll be grateful.

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Strong Words, Joe Rogan! — How to Do Life on Earth

They'll only
“You should aspire to be the person that you pretend you are when you’re trying to get laid.”

“I try to keep as much compassion as possible while still avoiding douchebags.”

“I don’t like me when I don’t work out, so I make me work out so I can be sane.”

“If you’re famous, and being tricked by the very magic trick that makes other people think you’re special, then you’re a fucking idiot. If you’re famous and you don’t step aside and go, ‘Well, this is ridiculous,’ than you’re an idiot.”

“I gotta do things that other people aren’t doing, ’cause that way I’ll win.”

“You don’t have to be an asshole to survive. You can be the cool, smart people that get together and fight off the assholes.”

“There’s always good stuff. You just got to find it.”

“The comic’s function is to look at stuff other people accept and say What the Fuck Is This?”

“All the most fun people are crazy. You just got to figure out what their crazy is, and maneuver around it.”

(the comedy scene, Deathsquad, podcasting)
“We found a hole in the fence. What I’m trying to do is bring as many cool people through the hole as possible.”

“If it falls out of the sky and hits you on the head, is the only time you should ever worry about it. Until then, carry on.”

“I manage my psychosis better than you.”

“All the work I’ve done was just to become a good antenna.”

“I’m obsessed with anything nutty like this, that I don’t think anybody’s paying attention to.”

“I don’t want to be on the show with these guys just because we share some patch of dirt where our grandparents fucked.”

“We can all surround ourselves with people that are cool, and be cool to the people that are around us all the time, and don’t take anything less.”

“If you don’t want to miss your plane, pack before you go to bed. In other words, get your shit together!”

“I listen to nutty people.”

About nootropics
“Tell you what, folks – I’m in this shit for results, placebo or not.”

“I’m a professional me.”

(about the tendency to think “if only this happens or that happens, then things will be fine, I’ll finally get time to write my book” – that sort of thing)
“You’ve got to find a balance in the ride itself. You can’t wait for the rest stops.”

“It’s a lesson that we all know but some of us need to learn first-hand – You fuck with the bull, you get the horns.”

“The universe doesn’t create diamonds by pillows smashing together.”

“We are some sort of a monkey that creates things”

“There’s certain times when you say ‘What the fuck?’ where, if you were expecting an answer, you asked the wrong question.”

(in reply to someone who asked if he had read the Santa Barbara mass murderer manifesto)
“I don’t want to get that guy’s juice in my head.”

“If you can get that good at ju jitsu, you can get good at a lot of things.”

“It’s your job to figure out how to get past this part of the game”

“The worst thing you could ever feel is that you didn’t do your best when you were raising your kids”

“If I didn’t know me, I’d swear I was a douchebag.”

“I’m the bridge between the meatheads and the potheads.”

“You can’t let other motherfuckers define you.”

“The only way to win is, you gotta be crazy. Are you willing to put in the amount of work that a crazy person is going to put in?”

“They’ll only love you for who you are if you are who you are.”

(reported by someone who was in a car on the freeway with Rogan during rush hour, and Rogan said something like…)
“Wouldn’t it suck to be on this slave ship twice a day for the rest of your life?”

“It doesn’t mean you have to be a fuckin’ asshole to be successful.”

“Comedy is tuning in to the retardedness of the universe. It’s all there for you.”

“There’s certain people that you meet them and you go ‘Wow, you’re fuckin’ cool. Like, where did you come from? I love talking to you.’ You could run into five hundred people and not feel that, and then run into one where you just can’t stop talking to them. What makes that…that magic, compelling charm?”

(how the universe is all one thing)
“You don’t get away from the Big Soup.”

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Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #13 – Losing Faith

Skeptic Tank 13Are we just bags of water and electricity?

IMFO one of the best episodes ever, of any podcast, with Ari Shaffir, Pete Holmes and Brian Redban – a former religious Jew, a former religious Christian, and a former somewhat less doctrinaire Christian.

Holmes explains the usefulness of public prayer. In the blessing before a meal, you can be as sappy as you like, thanking God for family and friends, without the embarrassment of telling them directly how much you love them. In the church youth group, someone can ask the Lord to “Help us to focus,” when it’s actually Pete Holmes who is screwing around.

My take on it – So, it’s like a subtweet. You want to convey a message to a specific person among those who read your tweets, so you phrase it in a general way. Others will think it’s just a general observation about life, but that one person will realize who is being addressed. At least, that’s how the theory goes.

In the Twitter context, if the remark is mean, it definitely qualifies as passive-aggressive, because you preserve plausible deniability. “Hey, it was just a general observation about life!”

Poets have done this for centuries, inserting secret messages to individuals amongst their lines. “Of course I wasn’t talking about you!” Carly Simon did it: “You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you.”

Also, a significant and inextricably entwined theme of this episode: comparison of shrooms and salvia.

Bonus – Another paggot’s very smart page about Ari Shaffir

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